Home
by pratz
Summary: “Home is where you are.” Cagalli x Athrun.


home

**Home**

Author: pratz

A snippet—because those issues about Cagalli in _G-Seed Destiny_ are really getting on my nerves. Heck, I love this couple so much, and it hurts so to write this... Aaah... how should I say this? This fic also has the influence of _Gravitation_ (remember the scene of Yuki and Touma at the cemetery?) Well, I _do_ hope Cagalli would be alright on _G-Seed Destiny_... Damn that opening clip—Athrun with Lunamaria and the Lacus-look-alike?! The hell! Anyway, no beta reader, so please excuse grammatical mistakes, errors, and OOC-ness if there's any (I really, really need a beta, ne...). Enjoy and review.

About the gun, it is known that when the US Air Force launched to free Paris from Nazi (1944), they dropped a lot amount of guns for the Parisians from the airplanes—if I'm not mistaken it's called _revolverè_. It's just like the guns in this fic; can be hardly used after a set and even often backfired at its wielder—just like any typical cheap gun for emergency events (no offence to the USAF). Nyaah... I'm not a military historian for sure, anyway!

Disclaimer: they belong to Sunrise, Sotsu, and Bandai. I don't own, you don't sue.

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_Feels like the end of summer_

_Feels like our last goodbye_

_Feels like we're letting go_

Joydrop,_ Swan Song_

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"So," he drawled tiredly, "this is the end, like you say?"

Cagalli gripped her gun firmer. "Looks like."

"It really doesn't impress me much, Cagalli."

"And so do you."

Athrun took a step forward.

"Remember the rule, Athrun. Stay at where you are."

"Why should I? Are you afraid that I might beat the hell of you if I'm close enough?"

Readying herself for the second turn, she cocked her gun. "I said 'stay'."

"Is that an order?"

"Yes, that is."

This was the place where she had found him after his battle of misunderstanding against her brother. This was the place where she had embraced the two of them and thus made them endear to her even more. This was her country, her father's legacy, her homeland she loved deeply...

_My homeland, but not my home. My beloved country, but not the one I put on the first place_, she thought bitterly. What else it could be called aside of bitter?

She had never, ever thought she would point her gun at him again.

"Cagalli."

"Stop that," she muttered. _Stop that or I will never be able to do this._ "This is our deal, Athrun."

"Don't do this."

Underneath his hard, commanding tone, she was still able to detect the silent, almost desperate plea. She hated it. She hated it when he was so vulnerable and yet she couldn't do anything to comfort him. She hated it how she always knew him better than anyone else did, maybe even better than his own shadow did.

"You bastard," she smirked none too gently. "Must you please your ego at every turn? Must you deny my honour of being a leader? Do you really happy to see me helpless so that I always have to depend on you at every single time?"

_Bullshit_, she mocked herself hatefully. _You're neither doing this for Orb nor your people. You're just a selfish bastard_.

"I'll fire, Athrun," she stepped back so that their distance grew wider. _But isn't that already wide?_ "Be prepared."

Just like her previous shot that had missed his cheek, her second shot missed him by his left arm. The deal was about to let them shoot each other in three turns. After every turn, each must take a step nearer to the opponent. _A battle just between the two of us_, she had said previously.

Yet she wasn't so sure whether she really took precise aims or instead made her shots miss by purpose.

"Your turn, Athrun."

God, it hurt like hell when she watched him raise his gun.

"Cagalli, don't make me do this," Athrun cocked his gun. "This is not a game."

"You've done this before—with Kira. You are a soldier. You are prepared for battles and wars," she prepared herself to face his second shot. "Sacrifice a little to gain more. A thousand is sacrificed for the sake of other millions."

"There's no justification for war."

"But war becomes a necessity sometime," she laughed bitterly. Her father must be so unpleased to hear that.

"Just le—"

"You have no right to ask me to leave my country!" she cried out abruptly. "Of all people, you should be the last person to ask me to do that treachery!"

"Open your eyes! You have no more future here! You still have the authority to speak, but that's all! Your men are only giving you their backs! You are only used!"

_I know. I've always known that since a long, long time ago. Must you rub it on my face now? But still..._ "What will you do if I ask you to set the nuclear missiles towards Plant?"

"Cag—"

"You can't do that, can you?" she whispered quietly. _And for the same reason, I won't leave. I can't_.

_I can't be with you_.

Athrun's second shot missed badly. Cagalli noticed how his hand was trembling, how his green eyes were filled with emotions she couldn't put a finger on—anger, despair, bitterness, anguish, hatred, plea, denial...

"You don't take me seriously," she gritted her teeth. "Damn you."

"Please," he whispered shakily. "Please. There's no point of being here any longer."

"Right or wrong, this is my country, Athrun."

"Damn it, Cagalli!! You know I—" he choked on his next word, then, "—I promised to protect you at any cost..."

_Even until the end, you couldn't say it..._ She closed her eyes briefly. The pain in her chests was surely building into physical pain. _But it's alright. I understand. I know_.

"Let's make this easier for you," she walked nearer and nearer until she could see his quivering lips. "Like this."

"Wha—"

"These guns were old and rusty, Athrun. No wonder you and I have missed shot by shot. This way, there's no way we could miss anymore. Let's do the last shot together."

"No..."

"At the same time."

She ignored him and raised her gun upward. Aiming at him, she said, "Aim your gun. I'm serious." It was killing her to do this and she knew it was killing him, too.

'_There's no way I'd let you die in a place like this!_' she remembered his protective attitude back then. _And I wouldn't let you die either_.

"Kira will come to fetch. If you don't want to do it for me, do it for him," Athrun still hadn't given up persuading her—hell if he had. "Please."

"Kira has nothing to do with this. He never has any bond with Orb," she steeled her will to stand proudly before him. "Both of us only have three bullets in the guns. This time will be our last turn."

_Our last time together_.

Trying the hardest to hold the tears that were threatening to spill, she put the tip of her gun on his chest. His green eyes widened lightly at the act as if he greatly denied the truth.

"Do you—" Athrun whispered in denial, "—do you really consider me an enemy?"

"I don't," she answered, "but there is nothing between us." Trembling lightly, she yanked his gun-wielding hand to point at her own chest and held it there. "On three, Athrun. It's either you kill me or I kill you."

"Cagalli..."

"One."

"Why—"

"Two."

"No—"

"Three."

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By the time Kira was coming, Athrun had sat stonily for some deafening times there on the beach.

Kira's breath was uneven due to his running to the beach, but his heart almost exploded at the sight before him.

"Athrun."

His best friend was hugging the bloodied, pale-faced Cagalli tightly to his chest, all blank gaze and soulless.

"Athrun," he voiced out once again. "You're not supposed to be here. They'll find you."

The said boy was rocking his sister gently, murmuring some things Kira couldn't catch clearly. His empty gaze swept the sea and Kira knew how bad his best friend was lost.

"Let go," he pulled his arm. "She's—Athrun, come on!"

His cry fell onto deaf ears. He was ignored. Nothing—no one—would be able to call Athrun back.

"Damn it, Athrun! Wake up!"

Kira had truly wished Lacus was there with them. She would have known what to say then. She would have comforted him as he felt his grip on sanity was slipping. She would have found a better way to take Athrun along instead of dragging him.

And he wouldn't have to be alone to bear the burden of losing his sibling and best friend altogether.

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He didn't attend her funeral. It was too dangerous for the people might have recognized him.

And it was too painful for him to come.

So here he was, two hours before his departing back to Plant, days after her funeral, standing at the freshly made grave of hers.

He inhaled a shaky breath and closed his eyes. The memories of that time had haunted him ever since then.

'_Cagalli! You—'_

'_It... was set this way, Athrun,' she said weakly. 'I know you won't have the heart to do this... so I have my gun set to backfire at the third shot.'_

'_Y-you—'_

'_From the very beginning... I'm the one who chose the guns, aren't I? I know you... You won't shoot. You won't pull the last trigger willingly.'_

'_Cagalli...' he lost his words as large patch of blood staining her previously white shirt burnt his eyes. 'Don't...'_

'_Don't what? I'll always be on your way, Athrun. You can't attack the already-a-dangerous-threat Orb as long as I'm here, can you? That's why—' she coughed hurtfully, her lungs were collapsing slowly, "—that's why... I do this."_

'_This is my fault... My fault you're like this...'_

'_Not anyone's fault,' she fidgeted in his trembling arms. 'You've fulfilled your promise. You've always protected me. But I promise you first before Genesis, remember?' she smiled at the words. 'I won't let you die...'_

'_Cagalli, I—don't—please—'_

'_We live the way we've chosen. No regrets, okay? This is my homeland... like Plant to you. Please understand...'_

A soft pat on his left shoulder made him raise his head.

"I know you'll be here."

Kira.

"Almost all of Orb's people were already evacuated to possibly—and hopefully—safer places," Kira announced. "My sister surely had planned this before..."

Kira's voice trailed off and Athrun understood—he wasn't the only one who was mourning. Cagalli was loved by more people than she had thought.

"This land is going to be a battlefield once again," Kira saw his sister's grave but registered nothing. "I wonder what _those_ war-crazed people are thinking for real..."

'_But this is not my home.'_

Athrun's hand moved to his chest. The jewel from her was laid there beneath the fabric of his shirt.

'_Home is where you are, Athrun...'_

Slowly, he turned on his heel and started leaving.

"Where are you going?" Kira asked.

He kept in silence for a while before he found his voice.

"Home."

_Yes. Home is where you are, Cagalli_.

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End file.
